Bienvenue
 
 

Hedonistic Hetaira

Hetaira  [hi-tahyuh r-uh]; /hɪˈtaɪər ə/] Greek: “female companion”. Latin:  hetaera.
One of a class of professional independents besides developing physical beauty, also cultivated their minds and honed their talents far beyond that of the average woman. The hetairai were also noted for their outstanding physical and cultural accomplishments.

A professional woman for a personalised experience.

You live in a fast paced world of instant gratification, communication, and people needing pieces of you all the time. They take, you give. One thing to the next. Flash, flash, flash...like playing cards being dealt too quickly to keep up with the game. Maybe you're tired, anxious, stressed...or hell, maybe you're all three.

Stop. Close your eyes. Take my hand. Breathe in. Open your eyes, and look into mine.

Exhale. Let go. Relax.

Very rarely do we take that important second to just breathe, plan indulgences, and set aside precious moments for self care. Even less often do we treat ourselves to the things we enjoy, crave, and need most. We get one life to enjoy as much as we can. It is time to stop wanting. It is time to stop needing. It is time to start having. Let me teach you how to treat yo self. Life and happiness are about balance - let me help you find yours.



You can seduce a man without taking anything off, without even touching him - Rae Dawn Chong

Treat Yo Self is not simply a service, or something you just do once for an hour. It's a mindset that you deserve to feel good. It is a lifestyle filled with stolen moments of relaxation and decadence - something just for you. Whether you see me once a month or once a year, we will foster a warm friendship and a genuine connection. I am but white clay in your firm, warm hands each time we meet. The choice of where our adventures lead is always yours. I surrender to your control and look forward to where your desires will lead us.

I officially 'retired' Melissa as a travelling/touring companion on June 30th to go a different direction with my adventures. I will no longer be offically touring, and I will be very seletively seeing new friends - mostly those who have never been with anyone (as I specialise in first timers) and those who share my preference of longer visits and deeper connections. I am also still remaining available to already acquainted friends (at the altruistic expectations listed below). New friends and old, please start with an emailed introduction if you wish to see me!

While I’ve got you here, please allow me to share my key ethos with you: Discretion and privacy are the two things that I value the most in this world. I treat your personal information with as much sensitivity as my own. I will never make you feel uncomfortable while I am in your presence in any way, shape, or form. You will find me equally at home in either the most upscale restaurant or the most laid back coffee shop — and I will be appropriately dressed for either situation. I will only contact you in the time and fashion that is agreed upon and never send unsolicited communication. The trust that we place in each other is something I believe strongly in, and I want you to feel confident that the time we spend together will remain between us. All email communication is as secure as humanly possible.

This site looks best in landscape mode or on an actual computer!

 
 
Melissa
 
 
Me*lis”sa, n, a feminine name: dim. Missy; Mel; Sweet; Outgoing; Honest; Easy to talk to; Girl next door; Acronym: MELISSA: My Entire Life Is Spent Striving Ahead.

You are...

  • Deep. Passionate. Compassionate. Intense. Raw.
  • Earnest and open minded. A person in need of an escape from their daily life. You seek a companion who will stimulate your senses, tantalise your mind, awaken your fire, and ignite your passions. You understand that true stimulation starts with the mind and slowly encapsulates the rest of you as time moves on.
  • Someone with an appreciation for taking a break and treating themselves. You have a great sense of humour with a deep love of laughter, and cherish good times and fond memories. You find intelligent conversation to be the best pre-cursor to a memorable evening. You're smart with your money, and you prefer to plan and indulge. You know that what's real is always worth it.
  • Interested in someone who is interesting. You are a connoisseur of good company. You enjoy indulging in the time of a captivating companion. You enjoy pampering yourself and understands that what's real is always worth it. Whether it’s sharing dinner and drinks, a quiet night in, a hike through the woods, a Vegas adventure...you realise it’s the who as much as the what that truly creates the experience. You seek someone nice to look at, down to earth, and totally focused on your time together.
  • Receptive, aware, appreciative. You take the time to notice and enjoy the small details and amenities, rather than just rushing through so you can hurry on to the next thing. You appreciate soft lighting, soft music, and soft skin. You understand that life is best enjoyed like sipping a fine wine, or lingering over a great meal. That certain moments are meant to be paused on and indulged in.
  • Eager to please. Generous, and warm hearted. You're that person who puts others first. You love to see people smile, and do what you can to make them happy. You help those with less than you when the opportunity arises.
  • Definitely someone who values their privacy and makes it a point to always exercise discretion. You enjoy being the centre of attention in private, but prefer to blend in seamlessly in public. You value a companion who can do the same.

I am...

  • A walking contradiction, an artist, writer, bibliophile, audiophile, 3 pedal enthusiast, outdoorswoman, designer, attracted to those with a beautiful mind, and a perfectionist student who enjoys the simpler things in life. Attainable luxury. Simplistic and sweet, elegant and refined, down to earth and real. A straight shooter who believes in high standards.
  • A multifaceted person with many aspects for you to explore, discover, and enjoy. I have a wide variety of interest including but never limited to: hiking, kayaking, writing, sculpture, painting, cooking, baking, metalwork, travel, sailing, cars (import tuners), and photography - and not necessarily in that order. This list hasn't even begun to scratch the surface.
  • A specialist in first timers of all types. I understand the unique needs of someone who has delayed a first experience into their 30s or 40s and would love nothing more than to help you navigate those jitters and roadblocks. One of my greatest pleasures is helping someone cut the ribbon, so to speak.
  • One of the most laid back people you’ll ever meet, but also the most driven. A subscriber to the "live and let live" philosophy. Anti-drama, anti-judgement, and keeps out of other business. Supporter of all personal liberties, not just those that line up with my idealogical beliefs. I may not agree with what you have to say, but I will fight to the death so that you have the freedom to say it. I am a woman of many creations, ideas, and opinions. No two people are the same — nor do they have the same needs or wants. Each meet and greet will be custom tailored to your exact needs and specifications and it will never feel "routine" when we are together.
  • Roughly 5’5”,and have no idea and do not care what I weigh — though the tag on my dress reads 0/2, and it seems I fill out a sweater quite nicely. I am becoming less and less of a fan of things like “measurements” and numbers in part due to vanity sizing and also because women have lied about these numbers for so long most men have no idea what they actually mean. I’d rather present you with honest, verified photos and let you determine if I suit your tastes from a visual assertion as well as a review of my website text and testimonials. The relative mass of my body is not relevant so long as I portray its appearance accurately.

  • Someone with a passion for making delicious food. I am well versed in making both decadent foods and healthy alternatives in all dietary styles. I'm not a “health nut” but I absolutely love staying in good shape and eating fresh, yummy food. In addition to hiking and kayaking, I enjoy yoga, bowling, and lifting weights. I typically eat an ovo-vegetarian version of the Mediterranean diet which means any restaurant you pick, I can find something. I won’t be nibbling on a salad either, so come hungry!
  • Focused on the real. I look forward to the moments where we will linger over fine conversation. As time passes in a room with no clock, we will lazily become intoxicated by each others words. I am a simple woman and easy to please — the world is fast paced and complicated enough without having to add to it.  I do not own a cell phone and as such still have the mindset on communication and interaction most people left behind about ten years ago. When we are together, you are my sole focus, the true centre of my attention.
  • Frequently described approachable, fun, witty, outgoing, sharp, artistic, and coy. I have a great sense of humour and you’ll love it when I make you laugh, which I will do...a lot. Life is about humour and finding the humour in all situations. I also love to laugh, and have been described as having laughter “like bells”. I look forward to sharing many stolen moments with you.
Pura Vida! It's time to Treat Yo Self!
 
 
Portfolio
 
 
 
 
Girl 's Night
 
 
 
 
Offerings
 
 
Please email me an introduction (missy@treatyoself.ch) to get started building your experience. Screening is always required.

Have you ever wanted to get completely lost in a moment? To close your eyes and let go of all stress. Time will ebb away from your body as you allow yourself the release of true relaxation. Is this the experience and memory you seek?  You're looking for my signature self care package where we focus entirely on your quest to Treat Yo Self. Completely customised to your needs, you can allow yourself to explore all five senses after you are greeted by soft lighting, the light scent of flowers, and a coy, whimsical woman who is delicately dressed and eagerly awaiting your arrival.

My background is in cooking and sharing food is one of life's greatest pleasures. As such, I offer a Dinner Party addon where I craft the meal of your dreams for us to leisurely share. In a room without a clock, time melts away as we indulge in fine food, fine drink, and the finest company. If it is your first time ever spending time with a lady, I strongly suggest asking me to host a Dinner Party for us.

It is also my pleasure to offer a variety of experiences with Charlotte. Please enquire via email for all details.

 
 
Altruism
 
 
Visits over 24 hours and all travel visits can be negotiated privately via email. I'm very flexible and willing to work with you - I want things to feel fair for everyone. I am open to extended visits and monthly arrangements.

If you are seeing me outside of the US, please email me to discuss expectations in your local currency. If you are military, please let me know as I have a military consideration as a thanks for your service.

3 hours  1500
4 hours  2000
8 hours  3000
12 hours  4000
24 hours  6000

 
 
Decorum
 
 
Proper Etiquette
Adhering to proper etiquette is one of the most important things when it comes to meeting new people. Most people assume that etiquette is a 'given' for the ladies but needs to be laid out for gentleman. I disagree. I think that in life there are no 'givens' for anyone. To prevent any potential for disappointment on your part, I am happy to lay out the standard to expect when you arrive.
What to expect from me
Everything I said above is real — I've always felt lying on your website is pointless because it's exposed the second they meet you and realise you hired someone to write it for you. You truly will meet the woman in the photos, the woman from the words - freshly showered and floral scented, wearing light makeup, and a gold ombre on my fingers and toes. I will only drink if you're drinking, and I am well aware of my limitations.
You can expect me to be clean, well mannered, well dressed, and always appropriate for whatever situation we are in. I am infinitely adaptable and can blend in wherever you want us to be. From a coffeehouse to the opera to a day on the river. I am college educated in music and the arts, and as such blend in very well at the performance pieces, symphonies, gallery openings, and museum events. I also happened to be raised by a metal loving motorcyclist so I tend to mesh in equally well at rock concerts, bars, or on the back of your bike as we ride across the open road. Many tell me I have lived a thousand lives in my short time. Maybe not a thousand, but I have done a lot - mostly because time is limited and I want to do everything I can before it runs out. Think about whatyou want to experience in our time and let's adventure together.
What I expect from you
On our visit, I expect you to be clean and well mannered. You are welcomed to take a shower if you feel you need one. I request that you please wash your hands upon arrival, even if you do not wish to shower. If you don't, I will know you did not read this. Yeah it's a test. Neat huh? I have mints to freshen your breath, and an assortment of wet wipes -- but honestly if you feel you need those things, it's probably just best to take a shower.  It's no fun to spend time with someone who isn't as fresh as I am.
If you smoke, I strongly request that you shower when you arrive (or before I arrive), brush your teeth beforehand, and use mouthwash. Smoking around me is not permitted. I cannot tolerate smoke and do not visit smoking rooms. Vaping and e-cigarette use is fine at any point during our encounter.
I expect you to conduct yourself in a polite fashion, in a respectful manner at all times. I have a live and let live philosophy, so my bedroom is a judgement free zone. If it doesn't hurt us, it's not our business. That means I will not tolerate hate speech -- whether it's about "fucking pussy liberals" or "Biblethumping assclowns" or "the gays" or "Jesus freaks". Don't care - judgement and divisionism aren't my deal. We can discuss anything you want, but buzz words and vitriol? Best left for arguing on the internet when you're bored. That being said, we CAN all agree that white supremacy is bad. If you support or can "understand where they're coming from" or think there are "good people on both sides" I'm not the companion for you but I can probably recommend a few you may jive with.
Policy and Procedure
Screening is required - please send an introduction to missy@treatyoself.ch and I will let you know what I need from you - I do not accept merely references or verifications sites, although they always help. If I cannot verify you, we cannot meet. This is required for the safety and discretion of all parties. I have a long standing good track record completely clean from scandals, so you can feel secure giving me your personal information. If it makes you feel better, I run a hosting company where people put their livelihood in my hands. If they can trust me with something so important, why can't you?
I require a $25 screening fee, payable via gift card or crypto. I receive a great deal of inquiries from many who aren't serious about following through, and this has greatly reduced the amount of my time wasted screening for appointments that never pan out. If these options do not work, I have alternative ways to remit the fee. This fee is required before a visit can be scheduled.
I require a small deposit on all visits involving travel OR where incall is requested specifically for you. This is to protect me from losing money if you were to cancel. If I cancel, your deposit is immediately refunded (or applied to a rescheduled visit at a mutually agreed upon date and time). I understand putting down deposits can be scary - but so can booking flights and hotel rooms without any assurance you'll be made whole.
If you cancel 4-7 days before your booking, I keep your deposit. If you cancel within 72 hours, I require 50% of the visit total (including your deposit). If you cancel with 48 hours or less, I require 100% of the visit total (including your deposit). I accept cash, crypto, and a few specific gift cards for both deposits and pre-pay. Failure to remit payment of a cancellation/no-show fee will result in being unable to spend time with me in the future.
Please do not ask to see me without compensation. When contacting me, please be polite and refrain from excessive profanity in intial conversation. You can swear like a sailor once we're more acquainted.
Have We Met?
 
 
Availability
 
 
Seeing me is an investment in yourself, and a well thought out indulgence rather than a backup plan or last minute urge. I often have my schedule planned several weeks in advance due to an active life outside of companionship, so I encourage you to contact me with ample notice so we can get the anticipation boiling. Screening is required, and if the visit requires travel there will be a deposit (please see the Decorum section for more details on policies and procedures).

I AM SEMI-RETIRED AND DO NOT TRADITIONALLY TOUR — however I do travel frequently in my personal/professional life and can easily pop by to see you, so if you desire seeing me (anywhere) I encourage you to reach out for a chat as soon as you have interest and we can squeeze you in.

Fly/drive me to you is available more often than not regardless of where I am and how most people see me. I am only taking select visits on a leisurely basis with those I find myself compatible with and excited to meet. Visits under 3 hours are available, but at my 3 hour rate to show respect for my time and boundaries.
Simply put — there is no longer a 'schedule' of cities and dates as all visits are custom tailored specifically to/for you, please enquire via email (missy@treatyoself.ch) with your introduction to discuss scheduling our visit. Including potential dates/cities/times in that introduction is infinitely helpful and know up front that I appreciate it.
 
 
 
 
Frequently Asked Questions
 
 

I make sure you are who you say you are and that it is safe for us to have a visit. Nothing more, nothing less. The information is destroyed once you are verified and I do not keep emails once a visit is completed. I do not have client records, notes, or any sort of database. My site is on a dedicated offshore server, my reservation form is secured via SSL, and no data is sent via email with ProtonMail being used for all follow up communication. Signal communication is also available for regular visitors.

I have a lot of ways we can discreetly make this work but its not discreet if I list it on my website.

I'm honestly insulted when people ask this. The assumption that I am a thief because of my profession does not please me. Yes, I've worked for this long to build an amazing career so I can throw it away for 25% of a single visit. This clearly makes a lot of sense and jives with everything you know about me right? Okay, sarcasm off. No, I am not going to steal your deposit. I have laid out my policies clearly to avoid any confusion regarding deposits and refunds.

I really don't have a smartphone. Really, really! I have a clamshell to verify web accounts and for emergencies but half the time it's dead in my glovebox with no minutes (got my twitter account locked for a week over that...whoops). I just do not subscribe to the theories of instant gratification and entitlement to someone else's time. "How" I managed is the same way we all did before they existed, and it's really not that big a deal. I can't imagine wanting or having the internet in my pocket full time when it's so easy to connect to everywhere I go, and on a proper size screen. It's also a good litmus test for comprehension — someone who tells me to text or call them clearly did not read my webpage. Also, I hate on-screen keyboards and couldn't imagine deriving any enjoyment of the internet in all of its postage stamp glory, so I gave it all a pass and never looked back. I do have an iPad, a Surface Pro, 2 laptops, and 2 desktop computers so I'm not hurting for electronics at all. I am as connected as I want to be, when I want to be. Access to me (and my time) is on my terms. Yes, it's glorious.

Yes! I have a hosting company called Red Umbrella Hosting that also features web design packages. You can find me here. Red Umbrella is a part of Trystworthy Enterprises.

I see anyone except openly asinine white supremacists. Black, LGBTQ, couples, folks with a disability are all welcomed. I have ample experience in the latter.

5'5'', 32GG-24-34, size 0/2. I can wear tight bottoms and stretchy tops. Gift cards are best if you want to buy me clothes, really. That IS why you're asking...right? 😉

Lowe's, Southwest, and Amazon are my hands down favourites. In terms of clothes, Nordstrom, Lululemon are always a safe bet. Any "sporty" store like REI (or MEC), Dick's, UA, Nike are also generally safe because I always need hiking and workout gear. Ask me privately about lingerie.

 
 
Philanthropy
 
 
My philosophy and purpose
That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful." - Ninon de Lenclos

The best gift is your company on a repeat visit and paying it forward to others. My true passion is “outreach work” so if you buy me gift cards, just know it's probably going partly towards me and mostly towards that. I like to do several yearly “drives” and the gift cards help me meet those goals such as putting together food/clothing boxes for the women's shelter, donating building materials to lower income areas and churches, donating art supplies and school supplies to low income classrooms.Our lives are but a speck of dust in the grand scheme of this existence, and our entire purpose on this earth is to make it better for the next group of people that come along. We live in the age of arrogance, and we can only move out of that by recognising it and doing more for others. The only way I see to do that, is by improving the lives of people who are alive today and need help so that they can build better futures to pass on. So, that's my purpose.

If you like what I'm about and wish to support me on a monthly basis, you can do so by emailing me to subscribe.
Gifting Me
I want for almost nothing in this life, materially. I have everything I could possibly want or need. So the best way to spoil me is help with the every day essentials, and little luxuries. Amazon giftcards towards books, groceries and outreach, Southwest giftcards towards my travel, and contributions (cash, money order, or crypto) to put towards my tuition and retirement fund. Shares of stocks are always welcomed.

Of course there's always an exception to the rule - I always accept gifts of housestuff (Lowe's) and clothing. Please contact me prior to purchasing lingerie unless you don't want it to fit.
Paying it forward
Most of my outreach work is hands on. I typically do not support most charities (there are exceptions for areas I feel I cannot physically help out in, which you can find below) because I don’t want “X cents on the dollar” to help people, I want to help people. So my work specializes in areas where I can cut out the Audi driving middle man. At this point, you may be sensing a theme in where I like to do my work ;). Other areas involve homeless (specifically drug addicts, mentally ill, teens, and battered women), survival sex workers, and “at risk” youth. There is no such thing as a “lost cause” when you are referring to a human being. You can best help by donating amazon gift cards, by bringing a donation of cash, or grocery gift cards in person.
Charities I *DO* support
As a proper geek myself, I very much support more women in STEM (especially women of colour) and unlike other areas this is not really one I can help out in a "hands on" way". I think the only way to make change to how unwelcoming it is to us is to ignore the haters, and push forward. There will be threats, discouragement, and harassment all along your path — but hang in there. My biggest area of focus is getting more women into the programming and gaming industries, but women in ALL areas of STEM would be amazing! Please give to these charities to help support this cause: