This is like the terms and conditions, except I actually expect you to read this.
I expect you to be polite in all correspondence, clean (wash your ass) and well groomed, arrive on time or inform me promptly of any lateness. It is my expectation that you’ve read this website and will not bring your altruistic contribution in a plain white envelope. A card, book, tin, or a leather envelope are a few suggestions but feel free to get creative and show your personality or just use an ATM envelope in a pinch.
I believe in treating others the way I wish to be treated and I respect that both your time and money are valuable. I expect reciprocity in that.
What you see is what you get! Freshly showered and sweetly scented, wearing light makeup and French nails. I have a secret smile, and I can’t wait to let you in on it. Bright eyes, a wide smile, and a warm heart ready to melt the troubles of the day away await you. Someone who can both listen and talk. Lead and follow.
I am infinitely adaptable.
A small good faith deposit is requested of new patrons. I have a multitude of ways (including anonymous) to make your deposit and I give you a % range so you can send select an amount that makes you comfortable.
If you are worried I will steal your deposit, I don’t want to spend time with you. Why would I want to share my space and self with someone openly suspicious of me?
Life happens and I appreciate that you respect my time enough to ensure I am not out of pocket if you should need to cancel.
Within 3 days of the visit: 50% of the scheduled time.
2 days or less: 100% of the scheduled time.
Exceptions to this policy can be made for legitimate emergencies with proof of the emergency in question. I am not a monster.
All visits may be rescheduled instead of cancelled for NO FEE. If you reschedule less than 72 hours before the visit I appreciate that as a gentleman you pay costs I incur as a result of hotel/flight cancellations so I am not out of pocket.
Gifts and tips are optional, and the best treasure is the pleasure of your company on repeat visits as we become regular friends.
However, if you wanted to spark joy in my heart a different way, I offer the following options
If you wish to bring a gift, I have a wishlist for your pleasure. I love all things handmade (doesn’t have to be by you). I also appreciate leather envelopes, hollow books, non-hollow books (memoirs and poetry are my favourite).
If you wish to bring libations know that I am a light drinker, at best. I would suggest bottle of Armand de Brignac (your pick) for us to share. If you’re looking to bring something more red, please bring a Cabernet Franc (Inkblot preferred) or plan to be drinking it alone (which I do not mind). I do also enjoy Inniskillin Ice Wines with my favourite also being Cabernet Franc or any of their sparkling ice wines. Please feel free to introduce me to your favourites, as they may become my new favourite. I am very open minded and love trying new things, especially when celebrating with you.
I prefer doing hands on community based outreach work whenever possible. If interested, ask me more in person.
For the things I can’t help directly, the following are charities I support:
NCWIT
Anita B
Lysistrata
TechWomen
Black Girls Code
Red Canary Song
Feed My Starving Children
I can’t give you a tax deduction, but I will take a donation up to $100 off your visit for donating to one of the charities on this list in my name (with proof).
You have questions, I have answers.
If you wish to bring a gift, I have a wishlist for your pleasure. I love all things handmade (doesn’t have to be by you). I also appreciate leather envelopes, hollow books, non-hollow books (memoirs and poetry are my favourite).
If you wish to bring libations know that I am a light drinker, at best. I would suggest bottle of Armand de Brignac (your pick) for us to share. If you’re looking to bring something more red, please bring a Cabernet Franc (Inkblot preferred) or plan to be drinking it alone (which I do not mind). I do also enjoy Inniskillin Ice Wines with my favourite also being Cabernet Franc or any of their sparkling ice wines. Please feel free to introduce me to your favourites, as they may become my new favourite. I am very open minded and love trying new things, especially when celebrating with you.
I do not have a smartphone. I have a little Nokia for emergencies like breaking down, but I do not use a phone in every day life.
Absolutely. I love men of all colours, shapes, and sizes. Variety truly is the spice of life!
Absolutely. Please be up front if your size requires any special accommodation and know there is no need to be embarrassed if it does. I’m asking because I want to accommodate so you can have the best experience possible.
Absolutely. I understand how nerve wracking and difficult it can be in an industry that caters to men to find someone for yourself. I’m here for you.
Being your unicorn is one of my favourite roles to play. I am there to enhance your evening and be whatever you need me to be. I do not charge an extra fee for couples, but do request a 3 hour booking for our first encounter.
Yes, though I typically drive. If I’m flying, I prefer you Fly Us To Paradise and we indulge in a weekend together. 6-8 hours is usually the minimum based on where you are in the country but can be less if you’re closer. Travel cost based on actual cost of travel and paid up front.
I don’t care. Worth noting, none of the sites besides ECCIE publishes them even if you do submit one. This is because I’ve given interviews of what I think of the review industry (including review sales) and they don’t like that.
If they’re an important thing to you before you see me, I totally understand. We live in a review driven society and you want to make sure you’re getting a quality experience. Google my name and reviews in quotes. You should find what you’re looking for.
If not:
I hope this is enough to assure you that I am genuine and enthusiastic about what I do!
Primarily Switch these days. PC and Retro consoles too. I have a variety of old Nintendos and CRTs.
Splatoon 3, Diablo 3, MH: Rise are my bread and butter but I’m into a lot more we can talk about in person.
Did it myself! In 2018 I opened Red Umbrella Hosting which I later added “and Design” to. My goal is to bring simple, attractive, affordable websites to providers. If you wish to gift your favourite provider a new website, contact me!
